First ride in a LONG time!

Today’s ride will highlight “White glasses no lips aka No lips”, “Green Jacket aka GJ”, and “The Sleeper”

White glasses no lips: “Festival has a place to watch your kids”

Green Jacket: “Even at the mall you have to supervise your kids”

No lips: “Yeah same with McDonald's!”

 

The Sleeper – Sleeping. Phone falls off his lap.

White glasses no lips –“Did you hear about the tornado, that real bad one? Took out all that space on the street?”
Green jacket – “First I heard of that”

No lips – “Feeling lucky I didn’t get hurt, it was in my back yard!! A tree went thru a back porch”

GJ – “Owh wow!”

No lips – “Yeah well it was in my neighborhood” (bitch lives 10 blocks away)

GJ – “this whole state knows I have a drinking problem, I know I have a drinking problem.”
No lips – “yeah, I know….that you…well spread the word my church is starting a drinking program for you!”
**I now want to know about this program….do we go to this church & drink sacramental wine??

The Sleeper – Sleeping. Drops cell phone. Stirs to pick it up & return to the snooze.

Enter two young girls:

 “Girl those is nice!

“I did it myself, I can do it for you”

(Yeah but who's gonna wax for these young n’s

And we're talking about the tornado again to the newest victim…passenger to the bus.

Sleeper – Still sleeping, cell phone falls off his lap again.

No lips: [On the topic of global warming] – “we're gonna be the warm states & California, Florida are gonna be the cold states!”

The fucking tornado again!! She’s talking about the tornado and porch that isn’t hers AGAIN!

Sleeper gets smart & uses his body parts to secure the phone after it’s now fallen THREE times!

No shoe nose picker!!

 Uhm.....I like to be comfortable too.....but not at the expense of a foot disease!!!  Some little kid is going to be dancing around in that chair wondering what all the toe jams are doing on the back of the seat....GROSS!

And speaking of GROSS.....the lady pictured below was just a diggin' for all she was worth!  Finger in nose - finger swirling around nose, flicking finger findings from nose on the floor!  Now the fat arm & green-ish shirt in this picture is ME......I'm gagging remembering the horrid event!  Dirty bus nose picker!!!  She didn't even care...I'm pretty sure I was staring right at her...just pick, pick, flick like it was nothing!!!!

Black Duct Tape

The gem posted above was quite the character!  Chains a'plenty, you can't really see but his wrist has so much chain-age I thought he may have just busted out from the klink!?  This beaut was listening to music & of course singing along (why wouldn't he be) and no painted nail, chain wearing, huge glasses hippy is complete w/out a roll of black duct tape.  I think he had an OCD w/the duct tape. He kept placing it on the rail, looking at it, taking it off, & repeating this exercise.  I think he must have gotten upset w/the said duct tape as he managed to scream F#CK! & slam the tape down on the seat next to him.  You've really got to watch out for duct tape, it'll double cross ya' if you're not careful!

Nice Hat

As I was walking to the bus stop this morn, passing all of the squished piles of dog shit, I decided to thank God.  Dear Lord, thank you so very much for not making me the person to start their day with poo on the shoe!  Amen!

I fear I may have been on someone's bus blog on my ride home last night as I ran into an old friend (& it was his b-day) so of course we had to catch up.....our conversation wasn't rated "G"....owh well!?

I then moved on to the bus blog victim of the day (see below).  I was excited to get this "action shot" of "Poindexter" (i.e. dude in hat) explaining his mass amounts of knowledge to the boy next to him "boy trying to grow a stache" we'll call him.  I think they were both mathlete's....so I obviously hadn't a clue what the hell they were saying!

Style & True Love w/some fake hair

A woman taking up two seats (well her & her enormous bag) was having a lovely conversation.  I didn't get any names, so the lady on the bus talking on the phone will be refereed to as "yellow sock" (see picture below).

"Yellow sock" to lucky caller: "I got chu sum herr!  Yeah it's fo' the back yo' head.  I got a bunch of it & I cut some so I can't take it back.  So I gotchu a piece, you don't need much!"

Then yellow sock & lucky hair caller continued their conversation about a mutual friend, we'll call the friend "poor". 

"Yellow sock" talking to lucky hair caller regarding their friend "poor":  "yeah she got it rough, she don't know!  You know she from Washington DC, where the government is.  You give your social security number there and there ain't no way to hide! She be tryin' to network here but she say that cost MONEY!  You gotta have a car, money ta' do thangs mhhh hmm!"

*I'm glad the "government" in its entirety has been located....it was beginning to feel like "Where's Waldo", fear not - you can get all of your answers on the bus!

I couldn't capture the LONG turquoise finger nails that "Yellow Sock" had....it really set the whole outfit though!

I urge you to look closely at the yellow shoe above.

Now I move on to the late comers of my ride!  I SO wish I could have captured the actual "smile" of rotten tooth (really, tooth - not teeth)!!!  Its hard to find true love these days.....especially when you're carrying a discman from 1994 & you're snuggled up to a tooth rotting, red burn mark on the forehead "man-wonder" like this one! 

I almost missed my stop trying to catch the "tooth smile".....ahh but fear not, I made it to work just as late as all of the other days!



Reunion

Today a lady w/bleached hair spotted her friend across the way (the friend had blond hair....but it was natural - not yellow bleach).  It was great catching up?!  "Real" blond's partner Eddy passed away a few weeks ago.  Bleach "blonde" "WHO?" (they're close friends, I could tell).  Bleach "blonde" : How'd he die?  "Real" blond: "*sniffling* he went to the doctor 3 days ago & they sent him home, said nothing was wrong.  He went home & died, had reeenul failure, he had cancer, diabetes..." she mumbled some other illnesses that I couldn't make out (she was sitting right next to me)!  "Real blond" was on her way to hang posters for Eddy's memorial....you know its on Johnson....that purple building.  Mhh, I hope I have posters & flyers for my memorial/funeral from two weeks or 3 days ago!?  Yellow bleach blond was on her way to the public defenders office (that ended all questions & conversations about her)!

Ahh to be "of size" the poor schmuck next to me was NOT pleased that I slapped my fat ass down next to him!  He kept scooching over & the second another seat (not by a fat person) opened up he jumped on over!  Since he still had on his bike helmet I thought it might be safe to sit next to him!?  Ahh the look of fear on each passenger's face as I walk down the aisle to choose my seat!

Nap time!?

There was a guy (taking up two seats) SNORING his head off today!  It wasn't just a little noddy-off-ski he was all out SNORING!  W/snorts & everything.  No one (except me) seemed to even notice!?!?  I fear if I keep riding the bus all of this is going to seem "normal" to me too....YIKES!!!

There was certainly a lot of fashion on the bus today!  These shoes are out of control!!  I know I have zero fashion sense.....but pick a pattern already!!!

I'm not sure if you can really see the pattern on these worn out, thin white pants (below) - but it was quite the testicle, I mean spectacle!!  This guy also had a thick mustache to go with his "look" - the State Worker ID flung about his neck by a white string really set it all off!!  Of course there's a second shot of the confused shoe (in front of white pant) just for good measure!