Nice Hat

As I was walking to the bus stop this morn, passing all of the squished piles of dog shit, I decided to thank God.  Dear Lord, thank you so very much for not making me the person to start their day with poo on the shoe!  Amen!

I fear I may have been on someone's bus blog on my ride home last night as I ran into an old friend (& it was his b-day) so of course we had to catch up.....our conversation wasn't rated "G"....owh well!?

I then moved on to the bus blog victim of the day (see below).  I was excited to get this "action shot" of "Poindexter" (i.e. dude in hat) explaining his mass amounts of knowledge to the boy next to him "boy trying to grow a stache" we'll call him.  I think they were both mathlete's....so I obviously hadn't a clue what the hell they were saying!

Style & True Love w/some fake hair

A woman taking up two seats (well her & her enormous bag) was having a lovely conversation.  I didn't get any names, so the lady on the bus talking on the phone will be refereed to as "yellow sock" (see picture below).

"Yellow sock" to lucky caller: "I got chu sum herr!  Yeah it's fo' the back yo' head.  I got a bunch of it & I cut some so I can't take it back.  So I gotchu a piece, you don't need much!"

Then yellow sock & lucky hair caller continued their conversation about a mutual friend, we'll call the friend "poor". 

"Yellow sock" talking to lucky hair caller regarding their friend "poor":  "yeah she got it rough, she don't know!  You know she from Washington DC, where the government is.  You give your social security number there and there ain't no way to hide! She be tryin' to network here but she say that cost MONEY!  You gotta have a car, money ta' do thangs mhhh hmm!"

*I'm glad the "government" in its entirety has been located....it was beginning to feel like "Where's Waldo", fear not - you can get all of your answers on the bus!

I couldn't capture the LONG turquoise finger nails that "Yellow Sock" had....it really set the whole outfit though!

I urge you to look closely at the yellow shoe above.

Now I move on to the late comers of my ride!  I SO wish I could have captured the actual "smile" of rotten tooth (really, tooth - not teeth)!!!  Its hard to find true love these days.....especially when you're carrying a discman from 1994 & you're snuggled up to a tooth rotting, red burn mark on the forehead "man-wonder" like this one! 

I almost missed my stop trying to catch the "tooth smile".....ahh but fear not, I made it to work just as late as all of the other days!



Reunion

Today a lady w/bleached hair spotted her friend across the way (the friend had blond hair....but it was natural - not yellow bleach).  It was great catching up?!  "Real" blond's partner Eddy passed away a few weeks ago.  Bleach "blonde" "WHO?" (they're close friends, I could tell).  Bleach "blonde" : How'd he die?  "Real" blond: "*sniffling* he went to the doctor 3 days ago & they sent him home, said nothing was wrong.  He went home & died, had reeenul failure, he had cancer, diabetes..." she mumbled some other illnesses that I couldn't make out (she was sitting right next to me)!  "Real blond" was on her way to hang posters for Eddy's memorial....you know its on Johnson....that purple building.  Mhh, I hope I have posters & flyers for my memorial/funeral from two weeks or 3 days ago!?  Yellow bleach blond was on her way to the public defenders office (that ended all questions & conversations about her)!

Ahh to be "of size" the poor schmuck next to me was NOT pleased that I slapped my fat ass down next to him!  He kept scooching over & the second another seat (not by a fat person) opened up he jumped on over!  Since he still had on his bike helmet I thought it might be safe to sit next to him!?  Ahh the look of fear on each passenger's face as I walk down the aisle to choose my seat!

Nap time!?

There was a guy (taking up two seats) SNORING his head off today!  It wasn't just a little noddy-off-ski he was all out SNORING!  W/snorts & everything.  No one (except me) seemed to even notice!?!?  I fear if I keep riding the bus all of this is going to seem "normal" to me too....YIKES!!!

There was certainly a lot of fashion on the bus today!  These shoes are out of control!!  I know I have zero fashion sense.....but pick a pattern already!!!

I'm not sure if you can really see the pattern on these worn out, thin white pants (below) - but it was quite the testicle, I mean spectacle!!  This guy also had a thick mustache to go with his "look" - the State Worker ID flung about his neck by a white string really set it all off!!  Of course there's a second shot of the confused shoe (in front of white pant) just for good measure!

He's back w/a longer thumb nail than ever!

I really wish i could have gotten a pic of the LOOONNNNG thumb nail, but no such luck.  This wandering stinker was "featured" a few blog entries ago.  Uhh and so the smell of spring begins!  Rotten B.O. mixed with stale fried food & God knows what else.  Speaking of food - Shaquita sat behind me today and talked about greens, spaghetti, garlic break, pork chops, etc. the ENTIRE bus ride to someone on her phone.  Now she can cook - she been try'n to cook so she can go grocery shoppin' uh-huh!  Don't chu got no food for her?  She need a WHOLE MEAL.  It was really getting painful...all the talk of food, I would have thought I'd get turned on or excited, but that just was not the case today!

Bulk items

I get it....you don't have a car, shopping is probably a big pain (make friends w/someone who has a drive-able car, not me, but someone - just sayin').  I really do think that there should be certain or "special" seating for passengers with the honkin' 24 roll/pack toilet paper!  Everybody poops, I get it....but why does that mean I have to stand on the bus while giant TP gets a seat....or my leg room??  I mean they're going to be sitting when using said toilet paper!

Enough Said.....

I really think the picture says it all......

Huh?

I was "greeted" at the bus stop by a saggy pant wearing kid who picks his face (should have picked a different one).  This fool was looking for the bus like he had never seen one before!?  Then when it was in eye sight he nearly jumped up & down (as though he was a 2 year old seeing a plane in the sky for the first time).  He then told the other two guys tyring to light cigarettes that the bus was comin'!

I didn't see the guy behind me, but he kept randomly yelling out WHAT!?  WHAT!?  It was odd to say the least.  THEN the man in front of me started scrambling out some sort of "words" budadak hahahahah yeah!  I don't know if they were communicating or both just had something to say!? WHAT!?

The lady who sat across from the word scrambler just gave him a mean look.....well that or it was just the way her face is.  WHAT!?  She had an interesting hair don't - all of her hair was flipped to one side coming out of the hat she had on...again only on one side!?